Being A Dad

There are things that are good. There are things that are bad. And then there are things that are good for kids but as an adult, you'd rather be hit in the face with a bat (baseball or mammal) than to be in their presence. Hence, the new category.

There were many contenders here but, at the moment, the thing that saps my parenting powers the most has got to be Wonder Pets.

If you've never seen the program (and don't worry, I'm pretty sure it's playing on a continuous loop on Nick Jr.), it's kind of like getting root canal by a drunken dentist while simultaneously being kicked in the groin by an angry mule.

What's the problem, you might ask. Is it the theme song that drills itself into your head and stays there for days? Possibly. Is it the saccharin sweet character names like Linny, Tuck and Ming-Ming? Could be. What about the weally, weally annoying speech patterns? Sure, why not? How about my long standing intolerance of Guinea Pigs? How about all of the above?

Technically, there's nothing wrong with the program. It might even be, I don't know, educational. And what-not. But the next time the phone... the phone is ringing? Head for the hills. Or the liquor cabinet. Whichever is closer.