Thanks honey - I couldn't have done it without you. Well, I guess I could have but it would have looked ridiculous.
13 years ago today, my lovely wife and I got married. It was the perfect combination of my good fortune and her poor judgment.
Thanks honey - I couldn't have done it without you. Well, I guess I could have but it would have looked ridiculous.
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We have our good friend Shari to thank for this one. I was woefully ignorant of the wonders of Willems until Shari started giving Jackson some selections from his Pigeon series for special occasions. The stories are deceptively simple but extremely entertaining - the Pigeon wants to eat a hot dog, the Pigeon doesn't want to go to sleep, the Pigeon wants a puppy, etc. Mo was a writer and animator for Sesame Street so there's a nice mix of humor for the kids and adults alike. We haven't sampled any of his Elephant and Piggie books yet but both boys have birthdays coming up, so Shari if you're reading this - hint, hint. There are certain things in life that require the word "actually" when describing them. As in "actually, it's not that bad" or "actually, I didn't hate it." Kicking & Screaming falls into that category. A guilty pleasure, to be sure, but just enough laughs for Will Ferrell fans and just enough dumb & gross for the kids. I'm not going to bother with the plot because it's basically a Bad News Bears knock-off but I will say that the always good Robert Duvall co-stars and it features probably Mike Ditka's finest acting work. There are a couple of scenes in a coffee shop that Jackson made me rewind about a thousand times. That's quality, folks. If you're of a certain vintage like I am (I'm 42) you probably have a certain fondness for the Saturday morning cartoons of yesteryear. And if you're like me, that fondness included planning each Saturday morning around watching 4 or 5 hours of those programs while you inhaled bowl after bowl of sugary cereal. The good news is you can get your nostalgic fix thanks to the cable network Boomerang. Boomerang is the sister channel to the Cartoon Network and it's where they seem to send all of their older shows. Lately they're starting to add too many non-classics for my taste but on any given day you can still find The Flintstones, The Jetsons, Scooby Doo, Tom & Jerry, The Pink Panther, Wacky Races, Yogi Bear, Jonny Quest and many others populating their schedule. Other old-time greats like Hong Kong Fooey, the Funky Phantom and Wheelie & the Chopper Bunch seem to rotate in and out of their schedule. Plus they randomly schedule Looney Tunes marathons, perfect for maxing out the ol' DVR. Of course not every show holds up after all these years - you'll notice a certain amount of repetition among some of the lesser known Hanna Barbera titles and it's amazing how many different shows featured a group of groovy teenagers solving mysteries. But if you're starting to glaze over after endless viewings of Dora, Diego and the Wonder Pets, you can't go wrong with revisiting your old addictions courtesy of Boomerang. When I was growing up, you had certain allegiances: Mets or Yankees, DC or Marvel, Matchbox or Hot Wheels. And while I had plenty of Hot Wheels - as well as Corgis, Johnny Lightnings and other diecast toys - the choice for me was always Matchbox. The main difference was Matchbox was more realistic and Hot Wheels was more hot rods, fantasy cars, etc. Which meant I spent more time playing with a '73 Citroen than a metallic purple car with oversized wheels and an engine the size of my head. Of course, when it came to accessories Hot Wheels won hands down with one of the greatest inventions ever - the plastic orange tracks (with purple connectors). These days, the distinction between Matchbox and Hot Wheels is less significant because both brands are now owned by the same company, Mattel. But enough of the back story, whether you choose Matchbox, Hot Wheels or both, they remain great toys. And unless you go for something fancy, they're one of the most economical toy purchases around - usually about a buck. And anyone who has ever stepped on one while barefoot can tell you how durable they are. Presently, our house has about 6000 of these things lying around - the living room looks like the LIE on a summer Friday at 5 o'clock. So perhaps we've created a monster, but it's still worth it because I get to play with them under the guise of father-son bonding time. Oh, and a word to the wise - stay away from the Matchbox or Hot Wheels playsets. They're really cool for the first half hour after they're assembled but once they start to fall apart or you lose pieces, your playroom will look like Fred Sanford's front yard. Our house is filled with toys. Some good, some not so good. Some played with, some still sitting on the shelf in shrink-wrap. The way a parent judges a toy is completely different from the way a child does. A kid's judgment generally ends with the "is it cool?" question. A parent, on the other hand, takes many different things in account - how much does it cost, how long does it take to assemble, is it going to break anything, will there be a trip to the emergency room in our immediate future, how long does it take to clean up/will that stain ever come out, how much noise does it make and the granddaddy of them all - how many godforsaken batteries am I going to have to cram into this thing before they get bored with it? One toy that passes this parental litmus test is stomp rockets. They come in different names, sizes and colors but the concept is the same - foam rockets that you place on a pad and then launch into the air with the stomp of a foot. That's it - guaranteed entertainment for children of all ages (and immature adults as well). Of course by the end of the season (or even the afternoon), your gutters and trees will be filled with rockets but as long as you have some extras on hand you should be in good shape. Stomp Rockets - all you need is a heavy foot and a dream. There's a scene in the classic film Diner where Eddie (Steve Guttenberg) and Billy (Tim Daly) are in a movie theater watching The Seventh Seal. With a dumbfounded expression, Eddie exclaims, "What am I watching? It just started, and I don't know what's happening." I'm reminded of this whenever I experience something wildly popular for the first time that I just don't get. Like Yo Gabba Gabba! Atonal singing, creepy characters, LSD induced imagery and what appears to be Jimmie "Dyn-O-Mite!" Walker in a shag carpet bathing cap. These are just a few of the things you'll find during any given episode. Not to mention appearances by folks whose hipster quotient is through the roof (people who would never use the word folks, for instance) like Jack Black, Andy Samberg and The Roots. I recently read the program was not developed by TV executives but rather by two young dads who were disappointed with children's television choices. Which reminds me of another movie quote, this one from the family classic, Die Hard: John McClane: Now, you listen to me, jerk-off, if you're not part of the solution, you're a part of the problem. Quit being a part of the f-ing problem and put the other guy back on! Welcome to the party, parents. You could keep your Mario Brothers, your Halo and your Sonic Hedgehogs - my video game addiction was all about Madden and MLB The Show. My game system of choice was the Playstation 2 and my intervention came in the form of having kids where I learned to value sleep more than scouring the free agent market for a middle infielder at 3:30 in the morning. And so my PS2 sat dormant, collecting dust until about a year or so ago when Jackson started to show interest. Not surprisingly, he showed the most interest in baseball video games and while he's played them all, MLB The Show remains the king. The game offers tons of features to keep adults playing deep into the night, but I'd like to focus on some of the kid-friendly features that Jackson enjoys the most. First and foremost, each team is represented with a pretty accurate roster and each ballpark is rendered in super detail (for an additional fee, you can have a smelly fat guy sit in front of you when you play). Each team offers several different uniform options including some awesomely hideous throwback choices from the 70s and 80s. Virtually every part of the game play is adjustable - automatic or assisted fielding, base running, sliding and throwing all limit the frustration possibilities for the kiddies. Kids, like chicks, dig the long ball so the Home Run Derby option is a popular choice. Old Timers are well represented with two teams from the Golden Era (Ruth, Cobb, Wagner, etc) and Silver Era (Bench, Gwynn, Seaver, etc) available for play as is a selection of vintage stadiums including the Polo Grounds and Forbes Field and not so vintage stadiums like Shea the Metrodome. It's the perfect opportunity for your kids to make you feel really old when they pepper you with questions about players you grew up watching. One of Jackson's favorite features is to reset all the rosters via a fantasy draft - he prefers the game's auto draft so he can be surprised to find out which players wound up on each team (he accomplishes this by closing his eyes as tight as he can while dad presses a button). From a financial standpoint, you can't go wrong with the PS2 - MLB 10 brand new is less than 30 bucks while the same game for the PS3 is closer to 60. Yes, you sacrifice features like virtual jock itch, but the savings are worth it. Speaking of savings, if your child doesn't know or care about accurate rosters you can get a previous edition of the game for anywhere from $5 to $15 - the older the game, the cheaper it is. Of course Jackson is such a freak for baseball that he likes to play as many previous versions of the game as possible so he can appreciate the nuances of Jose Valentin's swing from the 2006 season. Probably the best feature of them all is that I get to play too and rationalize it as good old fashioned father-son bonding time. I don't get it. You'd think I would - I like cartoons... I like sponges... I like nautical stuff... I love Clancy Brown... what's missing? For starters, I can't seem to watch an episode without feeling nauseated - it may be a highly detailed illustration of toe nail fungus or eyeball veins, but there always seems to be something that makes me want to wretch. And I can appreciate programs that offer something for both adults and kids - Looney Tunes being the Grand Poobah of this genre - but while it works for my kids, it does nothing for me. Now unless you've been living in a pineapple under the sea, you know how much I'm in the minority here. Everyone loves Spongebob - he's like Raymond, only yellow and more porous. So I guess I'll have to make my peace with the videos, the games, the clothes, the backpacks and all the assorted merchandise. But it doesn't mean I have to like it. |
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